the finer points of charcoal

i know i said that i wasn't going to post again until i was done with the semester, but just can't let this one slide. tonight we had a little bbq for fhe. i got there just as they were attempting to light the charcoal for the roasting of the hot dogs. apparently, no one else has a dad as cools as mine who taught us how to do things like tie good knots and basic charcoal techniques. not that knots have anything to do with this post, i'm just saying that i can do some things better than a lot of boys now. like tie knots and light charcoal. so anyway, back to the point. there were about 5 people trying to light a big pile of charcoal. they started off well. a little bit of lighter fluid and some flame to get the charcoal going. but then the flame went out, as it should, and they started freaking out. to them, charcoal must be flame-y. so they added more lighter fluid and more flame. this process repeated over and over again. it even continued when i started quoting the lighting instructions on the bag that specifically state that the flame will go out after a couple of minutes, but that the charcoal will continue to turn into embers, because, well, that's what charcoal does. so anyway, we move to the other end of the pavillion for a short little lesson and when the lesson was over, the fhe co-chair gets up, looks back at the grill and says, "well, it looks like we've got some good flames going, it shouldn't be too long before we can eat." ahhhhhhhh!!!! CHARCOAL SHOULD NOT REMAIN FLAME-Y!!!! WHY DOES NO ONE BUT ME (and my friend julia) UNDERSTAND THIS!!!! obviously i'm under a lot of stress right now and this is what i've chosen to vent on. most of my friends decided that the next time charcoal is used at a ward activity, they are calling me beforehand so i can come and light the charcoal properly. patience, people, patience! that is the key to good charcoal.

so to sum up my sentiment of the evening, i borrow the words of the great madeline kahn."I hated her, so much... That... it... it... flam - flames. Flames, on the side of my face, heaving... breath - , heaving breaths. Heaving breath... " i need to buy that movie and watch it immediately.